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Time Cannot
Erase
I lose my
way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with
~Kelly Clarkson "Because of You"
Chapter 4
A Cage without Bars
The late afternoon summer
heat made life in Northern Hyrule almost unbearable. Most of Hyrule
Castle town's residents had retreated indoors, hiding from the scorching
sunlight. The market was nearly deserted. A few people could be seen
darting from shop to shop. The merchants at the various carts and bazaars
were dozing lazily as flies swirled through the heavy air. The heat
was thick with no trace of a breeze to bring relief.
Even indoors there was really no escape from the heat. Even so, being
inside the castle was cooler than being out in the sun. The polished
stone halls always felt that way to Zelda: cold and sterile.
Impa had said that when her mother had died Zelda's father had ordered
that every last memory of her be removed from the castle. That included
her tapestries, rugs, paintings, knickknacks, furnishings: everything.
Once stripped of her mother's feminine touch the castle was left feeling
barren and empty. Endless corridors of white stone, cold and unfeeling,
were all that surrounded her.
Zelda sat in her room looking out the window, squinting into the bright
sunlight. She wondered where Link was, what he was doing. It had been
so long. Every time he returned he would regale her with his latest
tales of adventure, danger and excitement. As she looked out over the
rolling hills of the great field that opened below her castle, she felt
more strongly than ever that she wished she could join him.
At thirteen years of age she had seen and experienced more than most
people would in their whole lives. As she reflected, more often than
not her memories would turn to her days of exile, when she had wandered
the lands of Hyrule in the guise of Sheik. Seven years she had spent
in anonymity- passing from town to town, rootless, boundless, friendless
and living every moment in danger of losing her very life.
She had waited for Link then, too. She had waited seven years for him
to awaken and return as the Hero of Time. She had always had faith,
though. It was the knowledge of his inevitable return that had given
her the strength to go on when her entire existence had been pulled
out from beneath her.
Yet, in some ways, waiting for Link seemed harder to handle now. Then,
she had known where he was. She had known he would come back for her.
Then she had not waited in silence. The moment she learned of his fate
she had vowed to pave the way for his return. She had forsaken her identity
without hesitation and worked to fight Ganon in her own way. She had
worked with Impa to build Kakiriko Village. She had kept tabs on the
workings of Ganon and his minions and foiled a number of his plans.
She had helped protect innocent people from his spreading darkness,
and saved more than a few from his wrath. She had learned to fight.
She had grown strong.
Now, she was helpless. Trapped in a granite cage without bars she was
forced to live every day in drudgery: alone, waiting for Link. The greatest
joy in her life was seeing him return, and the greatest pain was watching
him leave. She was a child, and he was her only friend. He would disappear
and she would wait. This waiting was so much different than it had been
before. While she had then been in danger and trapped by her identity,
in a sense she had never been freer. Sheik, to her, was absolute freedom.
Though her fate had closed around her she had found escape and used
all of her power to fight back. She had been in complete control of
her destiny.
Not anymore. She was imprisoned: trapped by her identity, trapped by
her position, trapped by her father. There was no escape this time.
She was the princess, and she had duties and responsibilities that lay
here, in the castle.
While she knew she would
give anything to throw it to the wind and ride off with Link over the
hills to lands unknown, as she had once done, she could not. She could
not let down the people she served by serving herself.
Still, she would give almost anything even to simply travel to Kakiriko
Village again. Just to see the Zora and visit Ruto once more would be
a joy, but she could not. Now that she had finished writing down her
adventures of the past, she did not even have that endeavor to preoccupy
her.
She picked up the book. "The Legend of Zelda" written in Link's
hand made her smile ruefully. She did not feel like the makings of a
legend, sitting forlornly, idly passing the time until the sun went
down and the night would bring cooler air and relief.
To her surprise, at that moment, a knock came at her door. No one ever
knocked on her bedroom door. Intrigued, she crossed her room and opened
her door only to find one of her father's guards standing in the doorway.
"Princess, I am sorry to disturb you, but your father wishes to
see you. I am to escort you to him, personally."
"May I ask why," she said.
"I do not know the details. I was simply told to fetch you, and
make sure you bring your book with you," he added.
"What book?" A sickly feeling overcame Zelda.
"That one, I believe," he pointed at the book in her hand.
Her nervousness worsened. How did her father know about the book? She
knew at that moment this summons could not be a good thing.
She had no choice, however, so she followed the guard down the hall
to her father's throne room. He opened the door for her and she entered,
alone.
The guard shut the doors
behind her with a deafening clang, leaving her to walk the length of
the room to her father's seated figure on the other end.
Even from across the room she could tell that he was livid. On his face
was an expression of utmost rage and disgust.
She approached the throne and spoke softly, "Yes, father."
"What is the meaning of it?"
"The meaning of what?" she asked, trying to look innocent.
She knew she had to tread carefully as she was walking a dangerous line.
"Do not play games with me. What is the meaning of you going behind
my back, meeting with the forest bum, spreading those wild stories again,
and writing them down in a book?"
Zelda felt her stomach hit the floor. She couldn't answer.
"A guard saw him in the courtyard yesterday. I told you not to
consort with commoners, did I not? I told you he was not to associate
with you, did I not? I told you that these absurd stories of the Triforce
and some Gerudo King that doesn't exist and that worthless boy being
some sort of hero were never to be uttered again, did I not? I told
you to stop spreading lies!" His voice rose with every word.
Zelda found her voice. "I am not spreading lies, Father."
"Silence! You were heard talking to him about the whole thing.
He heard you spouting the same lies that I forbid you to speak. Must
you spend all of your time shaming the royal family? You have done enough
damage to our legacy!"
His words cut Zelda like a knife. She could feel herself crumbling with
every word he spoke.
The King paused. "Do you know who Ruken is?"
"A scribe," Zelda replied in a hollow voice, to pained to
care any longer.
"Yes, he is a scribe: a scribe in charge of recording the history
and legacy of my house. He is a scribe who, apparently, copied your
book for the forest boy. He told me about the entire ordeal, and I won't
have it," her father was growing angrier by the minute.
"I'm not a liar, Father. He is not a bum, he is not worthless and
he has a name! His name is-," Zelda was growing very upset herself,
and she couldn't hold it in. "His name is-" she stopped, mouth
gaping. What was his name?
"I do not care what his name is! I care that you are delusional
and that you are making records of this insanity. This stops now. Give
me that book."
Her father stood up and crossed the room towards her. Every ounce of
defiance boiled up in her, but she didn't dare refuse. She handed it
to him.
In two strides he was to
the fireplace. With one flick of his wrist he threw the book into the
flames. Zelda gasped as the fire began to engulf her precious book in
flaming destruction. In horror she turned away, staring at her father
who was staring back, both infuriated. She heard a popping sound of
sparks from the fireplace and she stole a quick glance. Flames had swallowed
the book entirely. Smoke hovered about the fire place. It was completely
gone.
Zelda was shaking, but she didn't want him to see her cry. He couldn't
see her cry. It would only make matters worse.
"That is the end of it. You are not to speak these lies again.
You are not to see that boy again. If he is found in the castle he will
be imprisoned and you will be punished. You are my daughter and heir
to the throne. This nonsense will stop now!"
Zelda could barely hear his screaming through the pounding of her heart.
"You will get your head out of the clouds and grow up, starting
today. You will begin attending my council. You will be given tasks
and duties. You will learn how to rule this country, for someday it
will be your responsibility. There will be no more time for foolishness
and child's play. That is final. You are to report to my council each
day at eight in the morning. That is all. You are excused."
Fighting with every ounce of strength, Zelda kept her eyes dry and her
face calm, though the pain and anger that filled her pushed with all
of their might to break free. Biting her tongue and clenching her fists
she turned and walked from the hall. Once the doors shut behind her
she broke into a run, down the corridor, up the stairs and into her
bedroom where she flung herself on her bed, tears flowing freely.
"You'll want to take better care of this," a voice sounded
from the shadowed corner of her bedroom.
Zelda's head flew up. Impa stepped into the light. In her outstretched
hand she held Zelda's book. Zelda took it from her in amazement. One
corner of the book was slightly charred, but it was, in all, fine.
"How did you get that?" Zelda gasped.
Impa vanished with a small pop, then materialized once more across the
room. She looked at Zelda and smiled. It was all the answer she needed
to give.
"You'll want to hide that. Your father thinks it's destroyed, and
it is probably best that way."
"Father, he- he is-" Zelda sputtered.
"I know," Impa replied. "He thinks he's doing what's
best for you."
"He doesn't have the slightest idea about what is best for me!"
"Well, he thinks he does, and, for him, that's enough."
"He said that
" She still couldn't say his name. It was
as though she had a blank spot in her mind, and it frightened her. "He
said that he isn't allowed to come here anymore, that I'm not allowed
to even talk to him ever again." Zelda sat down on her bed, clutching
the book close.
"I don't think that will stop Link, or you for that matter. Neither
of you have ever felt too constrained by rules."
"Link," Zelda repeated. Was that his name? It sounded familiar
Yes, his name was Link.
Zelda was lost in contemplation and Impa was looking at her strangely.
"Well, Father is wrong to do this. Completely wrong," Zelda
continued.
"I agree, but what I think or what you do doesn't change your father.
He has all the power here."
Zelda pondered that statement a moment before she spoke. She would not
be powerless any longer. "Impa, I've wanted to talk to you about
something. You once taught me the ways of the Sheika. I would like you
to teach me again."
Impa looked long and hard at Zelda. "You have forgotten?"
"No!" Zelda exclaimed all too quickly. "It is just that,
well, it seems so long ago. I know what to do, but I can't do it. I
just need to be reminded. I'm growing up all over again. I lost all
of the power I once possessed. Now that I can feel it returning, I just
need help in learning to harness it once more. Will you teach me?"
"Of course," Impa replied. "When?"
"Right now?" Zelda smiled questioningly.
"Come with me." Impa swept from the room. Zelda quickly placed
her book in the large chest at the end of her bed and followed Impa.
Already relief was washing over her. She would regain control of her
destiny, and it would start now.
***********************************
Exhausted both mentally and physically Zelda retired early that evening.
She and Impa had spent hours going over the skills Zelda had once performed
with unparalleled expertise. It had been a thrill to once again practice
her magic. As she had exercised memories had come flooding back to her.
She could see Link, herself as Sheik, and Ganondorf clearly in her mind.
Still, it had shaken her that she had forgotten Link's name. It had
not been a momentary lapse of memory or inability to say the name- she
had forgotten.
When Impa had finally said
his name it was as if Zelda had never heard it before. It was surreal,
to say the least.
Zelda locked her door and pulled her book from the chest at the foot
of her bed. She opened it up and read her story. Link- there was his
name printed over and over.
Zelda began to read the story, and she became enthralled, as though
she had never heard of nor read of the adventures told within before.
It was absurd, however, because she knew she had been a part of them
and she had been the one to write them down.
Still, she couldn't put it down. She found herself completely absorbed.
Her fatigue melted away and she stayed awake for hours just reading.
When she had finished a sense of awe came over her at what she had read,
accompanied by a sense of foreboding. She knew she shouldn't feel the
way she felt. She knew she shouldn't be so shocked at the story of Link's
adventure. Most of all, she was fearful and ashamed that she had forgotten
the name of her best friend.
She tried to put that from her mind now. She settled into bed and fell
into an uneasy sleep.
***********************************
All at once the silence of Hyrule castle's nocturnal repose was shattered.
Screams echoed down the halls. Zelda was jerked out of her sleep instantly.
Her head flew up. Looking out her window she could see an ominous orange
light dancing on the stone walls outside.
The castle around Zelda was burning. Flames leapt from tower to tower
growing with every moment that passed. Fear gripping her, Zelda jumped
from bed and ran down the hall.
Chaos had broken loose. People were running in all directions, crying
out and screaming for help.
"Impa!" Zelda cried. "Impa!" Impa did not come.
Zelda wound her way through the blazing halls, her heart pounding.
She rounded a corner and tripped over something large lying on the ground.
She crashed to the floor, hitting her knees painfully hard on the stone.
She winced, putting her hands on the ground in front of her, intending
to push herself to her feet. However, the sensation that hit her when
her hands touched the floor shocked her. They felt wet and slimy. She
opened her eyes and brought her hands to her face. They were shining
and wet with some kind of thick, red liquid. Suddenly shaky she turned
to see what she had tripped over.
A sick feeling overcame her. There, lying prostrate on the floor in
a growing pool of his own blood was her father. He was dead.
"No!" she screamed. "No, no, no!" She looked once
more at her blood covered hands. In sudden revulsion she tried to wipe
it on her skirt, but it would not come off. "No!" she cried
once more, rubbing harder, but the blood remained. She could look at
him no longer. She turned from the horrific sight and flew down the
hall.
Flames jumped up in front of her. The front gate was blocked. She turned,
heading for another exit. Flames blocked her way. Coughing and sputtering
she retreated from the blaze the only direction she could: up.
She wound up the stairs in terror. The fire pursued her, swelling up
the tower, attempting to engulf her from below. At last she had reached
the pinnacle of the tower. She had nowhere left to go. She ran to the
window and looked down. Below her the entire castle was ablaze, walls
crumbling into heaps of rubble all around.
"Help!" she screamed frantically. The crackling and rumbling
of the fire was growing nearer and nearer. "Help!"
Her eyes searched the field below her, coming to rest on two small figures
which she instantly recognized.
"Impa!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Impa,
help me!"
Impa shook her head sadly, gazing up at the tower as it slowly burned.
"I can't help you anymore, Princess. I can't."
"Impa!" Zelda sobbed in horror. Impa stood still as stone,
watching impassively as destruction slowly crept into Zelda's tower.
Gradually the walls started to blaze.
Zelda turned to the second figure who was staring at her tragically.
"Link, please help me. Please! I can't get out, Link!"
Link simply looked at her as she cried. Fear had consumed her. She pleaded,
she begged, she shouted, she cried. Still, Link just watched.
As the flames finally enveloped the roof, sending a storm of sparks
raining down on her head she screamed with fright.
"Link
it will kill me
" she said softly, nearly
all hope lost now. The two people she trusted the most continued to
gaze at her as death closed in.
The roof began to rumble. It would soon give way. Zelda dissolved into
tears, accepting the inevitable.
It was then that Link turned and began to walk away. He never looked
back. He never saw the last bit of the castle become swallowed by the
flames. He didn't see the tower begin to sway. He didn't see it when
the roof finally collapsed, crushing Zelda beneath it, suffocating her
with its weight and burning her with its unbearable heat.
He didn't see Zelda die.
He just kept walking.
Zelda awoke
with a scream, arms and legs thrashing about. She was tangled in her
blankets, hot and sweaty. Her body was physically shaking, reflecting
the way she felt inside. She was panting and out of breath, feeling
more afraid, lonely and vacant than she had ever felt before. With a
trembling heart she turned over and closed her eyes, trying to forget.
She pushed the images away, drove the thoughts from her mind. She didn't
want to see it anymore. She couldn't bear it any longer.
It was a long while before Zelda at last fell back into a silent, empty
sleep.

"Sheik, to her, was absolute freedom."
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